Severed

I put my arms around your corpse’s neck and waited. I lay my head on your chest and longed for the familiar drum of your heartbeat. On and on, I swore not to leave you as I sang opera songs and hymns. But your soul was gone from your body. I was holding onto a hollow shell, waiting for a phoenix and delivered a raven.

            I braided your hair and tied it with shoestrings. I dressed you in white, cut my hand and anointed you with blood. I curled up beside you once again and we lay in the riverbed as I listened to the water come. On and on, until I felt it lap at my feet. It soaked into my clothes and filled my ears. The music started to play as it flooded my lungs. I held your hand as tightly as I could and waited for death to grab me by the heart and take me away. But as the cold began to run through my body, I realized I didn’t want to drown. So without a second thought I let you go and swam for the surface.

            I pulled my body onto the bank and coughed until I could really breathe again. Tears ran down my face from the dirty river water stinging my eyes and from the realization that because I couldn’t let myself die, your loss was final. I screamed your name and called you back. On and on, until my throat was sore and my voice was gone.

            And as I lay there I felt your spirit fill me and I felt you kiss my forehead. I heard you whisper from within me that I needed to keep moving so I got up and ran. I ran and ran, and my feet bled but still I ran. I leapt over creeks and logs and found my way back to where I started. On and on, until you whispered that I would be all right.