Conversation in Threes

            It was 8 PM and the banging noise still hadn’t stopped. Katie was starting to hear it like a pounding on the inside of her skull. She wanted to smack her forehead against the kitchen table over and over, anything to make the noise stop. Instead, she walked to the wall and began hitting it with her right hand.

            “Hey!” she yelled. “Hey! Quiet! Stop! Can’t you take a break?”

            She wasn’t expecting an answer and she didn’t get one. Katie sat back down at the table and felt the anger course through her. She wanted to stop it, wanted to be a women like her mother, filled with endless patience and decency. But Katie wasn’t that person, and she didn’t know how to explain the anxiety she felt building inside her.

            “What are you doing?” Derrick said from the fridge. “Just ignore it.”

            “I can’t,” Katie said. “I don’t know why, I just can’t.”

            “Well you pounding on the walls doesn’t make it any better.”

            “Yeah,” Katie said, drawing her knees up to her chest. “I thought it would, but now my hand just hurts.”

            Even though he was technically standing in the kitchen and she was at the table, Katie and Derrick were only separated by a few feet. When they had first moved in, Katie had hated the tiny amount of living space. She had glanced around and deemed it unfit for the lifestyle to which she had become accustomed. After a few weeks had passed, however, Katie felt this space grow into her. Every edge of it was right for her, and she didn’t know why. It seemed that their apartment contained her in a way that no other home ever had. It was hers, and that was all that mattered. Or, well, it was theirs. But today Katie resented the apartment’s thin walls and the fact that she couldn’t get away from them.

            She dropped her pen onto the page in front of her and sighed.

            “It’s not that big of a deal, sweetie,” Derrick said. “Just take a deep breath and try not to think about it.”

            “I hate when you say things like that to me,” Katie said. “I’m not being irrational.”

            “I didn’t say you were.”

            “It was implied by your tone.”

            “Okay, then I’m sorry.”

            Katie rolled her eyes and glanced back down at the chemistry textbook in front of her. “No, don’t be sorry.”

            She looked at Derrick’s face and found him confused.

            “I just mean, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Katie continued, “so you don’t have to be sorry. I’m just annoyed.”

            He shrugged. “The sound will stop eventually. Or do you want me to march over there and demand that they keep it down?”

            Katie laughed and shook her head. “No, don’t! That would be too embarrassing. Of course, if this continues past 11 o’clock I’m calling the police.”

            Derrick sat down at the other side of the table. “Don’t say that, babe.”

            Katie examined his face, all hard lines and easy confidence and said, “Why not? They deserve it at this point.”

            “You don’t know that. What if there’s something important going on over there?”
            “What could possibly be so important that they have to bang on the walls for two hours and disturb the whole complex?”

            “I don’t know, but something. Maybe it’s a couple who are finally having the argument they need to save their marriage, and he’s so worked up that he keeps hitting the wall?”

            Katie raised her eyebrows. “In that case, I better call the police sooner rather than later.”

            “Seriously, Katie, listen to what I’m saying. You don’t know what’s going on over there. Sometimes people need to make noise. We’re animals, after all.”

            “Whatever,” Katie said. “I need to focus on this.” She gestured down at her textbook.

            “Okay,” Derrick said, “but I’m telling you, it could be anything. Try not to let it get to you.”
            Katie smiled and shook her head. She looked down and continued reading.

            Bang! Bang! Bang! The sound continued.

            Isaac found himself wondering whether the neighbors could hear it, but decided if they did, they would probably let him know. In any case, he paid for this apartment, didn’t he? He had the right to do whatever he wanted within these walls as long as it didn’t cause bodily harm to himself or others.

            He pitched the basketball as hard as he could at the floor in front of the living room wall. It hit hard and ricocheted off the wall, then the table pressed against it. Brian ran to his right and caught it.

            “How long have we been doing this?” Brian said.

            Isaac shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Two hours, maybe. Why? Do you have something better to do?”
            Brian laughed and threw the ball back at the wall. This time it barely missed the lamp on the table to Isaac’s right. “Close one,” Isaac said, immediately pitching the ball back.

            Brian caught it and glanced at the clock. “Wait, dude, don’t you have somewhere to be?” he said.

            Isaac looked at the floor and ran his fingers through his hair. “I dunno,” he said. “Not really.”

            “No, you do,” Brian said. “You have that date with that girl. You told me about it. I thought you were into her. What was her name? Isabelle?”

            Isaac tapped his foot and said, “Yeah.”

            “You’re not gonna go?” Brian said.

            Isaac glanced at Brian and shrugged. “I guess we’ll see.”

            “We’ll see what?”

            “We’ll see if we’re done with this game before she gives up and leaves.”

            “Come on, bro, that’s stupid.”

            Isaac’s stomach twisted. Brian was right, it was stupid. All the thoughts in his brain collided with one another and told him how stupid it was. His body, however, was paralyzed with a special kind of fear. Three years ago, he never would have done this. He would never have willingly stood up someone he had promised to meet. That wasn’t him. That wasn’t the way he had been raised.

            And yet, he was different now. He had learned that you could be everything for someone, every single thing, and it wouldn’t be enough. They would be capable of ripping out your still-beating heart, smiling, and showing it to you, and they would do it. So while the logical part of his brain told him to stop being such an ass, stop wasting time and make it to the restaurant while he still could, the other parts told him, fuck that bitch. He could do whatever he wanted. He reached for his beer and poured the cool liquid down his throat.

            Brian was staring at him with a weird expression on his face. His jaw was pronounced and his brow was extra furrowed. “Well?” he said.

            Isaac pulled the bottle from his mouth and said, “I don’t know what answer you’re looking for, dude. I’ll go when I’m ready.”

            Brian stood there a second. Then he threw the ball as hard as he could at the wall so that it bounced straight at Isaac. Isaac tried to catch it with the one hand that wasn’t holding his beer, but it glanced off his fingers and flew to his right. He watched in slow-motion as it headed towards the window. He could feel the smashing sound in his bones before he heard it. Glass went everywhere. It continued to split apart into new shards as it fell to the floor. In that moment, Isaac didn’t care about the mess. He just wanted the mistake to be over.

            Brian put his hands on his head in an expression of cartoon horror. “I’m sorry, man!” he said. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to.”

            “It’s all right,” Isaac said, setting his beer on the counter behind him. “Get the broom.” As Brian ran to the closet next to the bathroom, Isaac tried to steady his shaking fingers.

            The glass shards glinted on the balcony outside their apartment.

            “What the hell?” Laura said as she stepped on them. She shifted the bag of groceries onto her hip and tried to avoid this new obstacle. She felt the glass lodge into her shoe and briefly closed her eyes. This wasn’t what she needed, not after the day she’d had. Laura opened her eyes again and picked her way around the rest of the glass. When she finally got to the door at the far end of the landing, she shuffled her shoes on the welcome mat. Hoping this would mean she didn’t track glass into the apartment, Laura balanced the bag against her body and tried to reach for her keys. She could feel the paper shift downwards, but pulled out the key ring just in time to catch an orange with her free hand. Somehow managing to keep it all off the ground, Laura jammed her house key into the lock and turned the doorknob.

            She pushed the door open with her body and hobbled in, setting the bag on the ground. Laura sighed in relief and rubbed her right shoulder. At least she was home now. She felt the familiar arms wrap around her legs and tried to force a smile onto her face.

            “Mama!” the tiny voice said.

            “My love!” she said. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for bed?”

            “I waited for you!” the little boy said.

            “You did!” Laura turned and bent down to pick him up. Each time she felt him in her arms, Laura thought Ethan was a little bigger. She remembered the way her boss had screamed at her that day, the way he had made her feel two inches tall and worthless, and Laura wanted to fall apart. She wanted to cry and say it wasn’t fair that she had to do this, had to go out every day for money when she wanted to be home with her son. But she knew the choices and she knew what she had signed up for. “Where’s your other mama?” Laura said.

            Ethan pointed to the hallway leading off the small kitchen and Laura saw Harriet standing there. She had a sheepish grin on her face that told Laura not to be angry about Ethan’s missed bedtime. Laura shook her head, but then felt her son’s tiny heart beating against hers and was unable to be upset. She hugged him harder. She wanted to remember him like this, always.

            “Well, it’s time for you to brush your teeth, little man,” Laura said. She set him back on the ground, then watched as he grabbed her legs again.

            “No!” he said, and squeezed her. “I want to see you.”

            “Mama will help us read your story tonight! Won’t you, mama?” Harriet said. Ethan glanced between them. “But you have to be quick! Your mamas are real tired.” Ethan’s face became focused and he scurried off to the bathroom.

            “What are you doing?” Laura said, unloading the temporarily forgotten groceries. “I’m dead on my feet.”

            Harriet crossed the room and touched Laura’s face. “It’ll be good for you,” she said. “Seriously, it will. Besides, I miss you all day when you’re gone.”

            Laura felt the tension melt from her body as Harriet pulled her into an embrace.

            The tap of a pen against a textbook, the banging sound of a basketball against a wall, the crunch of fresh glass underfoot; these are the sounds of the world speaking with itself. It goes on and folds under its layers, only to reemerge whole and more broken. There are whispers that float through night, only to disappear without really being heard. They must be important, but it is difficult to say why. They disintegrate between the tips of two fingers and are nothing before anyone realizes they were there.