The New Discipleship

            You bastard. You snake dressed as a lion. If I didn’t get stuck on you every time I saw you I would rip the chair out from under your body. I would smash my water glass into your face. I want to break everything that you ever loved and ask you why. Why why why. Why would you take my words and twist them until they were unrecognizable? I’ve been waiting for two years, and still I look for a response.

            So I sew your mouth shut with scissor blades and barbed wire. If I don’t get to talk, then you don’t get to talk; that’s the deal. I watch with pleasure as your life drains from the bottom. you become a shell of the man you once were and I bite my nails as I watch it happen. I’m not happy to see this transition, but I can’t imagine anything else. Twelve angry shadows dance in my head.

            And still your poison snakes its way into my ears and into my bed. I’m struck down because I think of you. I can’t move. The day I get to leave you behind will be the day I finally grow up. I pour whiskey down my throat and all I wish for is to grow up. I want to leave your eyes behind, your fingers and your smile. I never want to think of you again. I taste the blood that runs down my throat before I realize I’m going to drown.